one might say we're banned from that church
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
