I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
