and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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