To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
