i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
