Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
