so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
