I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
