I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize