I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize