I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
