I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
