Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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