i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
