seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize