I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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