just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
