I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
