How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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