Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i can't believe i had my finger in that
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
