nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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