i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
