Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
