I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
