She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
