Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think my moral compass just broke
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
