He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
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