Kareoke will never be a sober sport
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
