I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
