He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
