woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if i died would you start the facebook group?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
