Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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