it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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