My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
