i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize