I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
