He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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