I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
