Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
