Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
