Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
