i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize