my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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