There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
