just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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