I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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