Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
