Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
