Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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