At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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