I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
