she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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