Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
