I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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