he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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