his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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