she smelled like a LAN party
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
third nipple confirmed
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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