It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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