Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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