This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
