We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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