yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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