the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
