Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
