I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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