Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
porn star boner night. come get it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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