i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My vagina is very pro this idea
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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