you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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