So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
