I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is wine microwaveable?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
