doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
being pregnant is like rehab
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
is that a dick in a sweater?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
