If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
