There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
