Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
