I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
