Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
