my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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