Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
