yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
