someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
