all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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